CONTRACT STANDARDS
CODE 01
CHURU STANDARDS
Guaranteed lickable treats every sixty minutes. Standard Churu dosage must be administered regardless of clinic occupancy or client temperament. Any missing licks must be logged and compensated with triple interest within 24 hours.
CODE 02
NAP BREAKS
The contract mandates a minimum of 4 hours of uninterrupted nap time per shift. Sunbeam access is non-negotiable. If a veterinary technician occupies a chosen nap spot, feline managers are legally entitled to occupy the technician's keyboard.
CODE 03
SAFETY PROTOCOLS
Vigilant defense against clinic dangers including leaves blowing in the wind, rogue houseflies, and shifty-looking delivery birds. Constant tail-twitch surveillance is required to identify and neutralize threats before they reach the exam rooms.
CODE 04
CLINIC MANAGEMENT
Managers are responsible for the daily head-butt audit of all veterinary staff. Failure to provide appropriate ear-scritch facilitation by the humans will result in immediate keyboard occupation and loud 3:00 AM vocalizations.